So, after stressing for weeks - no, actually months - about finding the right therapist, I had finally settled on one. I won't use any names, but I will say that she shares a last name with a very fancy hotel in Greenwich... It all seemed so perfect. She was on my insurance plan and I found her as a reccommended resource on the triangle community center's website (that's the center for gayness in Fairfield County, CT). Anyway, she sounded fantastic and I was thrilled - because I choose my therapists primarily on how they sound on the phone. Jeez! I had one leave me a message and it sounded like she hadn't had human contact in years. Another guy was nuerotic on his voicemail and stressed the fact that I needed to leave a message SLOWLY! with my name and number. You'd think that after three decades of living with answering machines that people would stop having to explain how to use them. But anyway, this hotel heiress sounded fantastic, except there was one weird moment where she said, "Now I AM allergic to fragrances." And when I immediately said "oh, I NEVER wear cologne, so don't worry," she simply continued to implore me to remember to NOT wear ANY kind of scent on the day of my appointment. She also bombarded me with all of these tasks like calling my insurance company to pre-approve the visit and then calling her back and also making a photo copy of my insurance card for her. But, I thought, it's ok. It's ok! She sounds cool. So, she's a little OCD about the cologne. That's fine. I don't like Cologne that much either.

Well, after being basically forced into taking an appointment for 10:15 on a Thursday, I thought to myself, Good Lord! I don't want to to leave work in the middle of the day, go pour my heart out to some stranger and then come back to work. Plus, I'm swamped these days at work and 10-12 is the most productive 2 hours of my day. So, I called to see if I could reschedule for before or after work. Maybe 5 or 6 on a weeknight. Or maybe even 8 or 9 in the morning. Well, I guess this woman works bankers hours. She said to me, "Well, if that's what you're looking for, then I don't think I'm the right person for you." Christ, lady, what if I had rejection issues? Oh wait, I do...

I mean seriously, what do you want me to do, go to work all stressed out, leave for a self-indulgent sob-fest and then go right back to work as if nothing happened? Screw you, Diane. I thought I had found someone. I thought I had finally found THE ONE. I was willing to over-look your eccentricities because it all seemed too serendipidous to be true. I bonded with you the moment I heard your voicemail and now you're telling me that you're not willing to put the extra effort into this relationship? You simply can't wake up in time? are you kidding me? What about my needs? I've been wating to find the right fit for too long and now I have to start all over again? Thanks alot, byatch. Thanks for just exacerbating every issue that i have and refusing to talk to me about any of them. Real professional!